...

I wish I never met you. But really, it is a little too late. Four months of reflecting what went wrong, I still carry the pain of feeling I am not good enough. People will say I should not blame myself for what happened to us. You left me with issues and every time you cross my mind, I always end up beating myself for our unfortunate ending.

You had the final say. I had no warning. You witnessed how much I cried at that time – us going on separate ways. I still cannot believe I cried that much. And you know what, at that moment; I wanted you to comfort me. I waited for you to comfort me. But you did not, and that was too painful for me.

I still cry every now and then.  You know what they say, pain is inevitable. I can still feel it. Sometimes I find myself not able to sleep. Other times, I wake up to it. A big chunk of me wants the pain gone. But there is a part of me that wants it there. Not to keep me up all night, but to remind me of my capacity to love someone so much. So much that even if all I feel is pain, I still want what is best for you. I still pray that you are always okay no matter where you are.