Love.Destiny.Risk.Hurt.Love.

I have always believed in happy endings, especially those that are brought by fate.  If two people meet in an unexpected place, situation, and time; destiny has something to do with it.  I believe that one can like another person in a day and may fall in love in a week’s time.  Time is meaningless in love, they say.  And I am a believer of that.  Love does not require years to be felt.  Once you feel your heart beats faster, you feel like you are floating in the air when you think about that person, and you feel like no one is around you when you are together; love found its way and it is uncontrollable.  You just feel it right then and there; regardless of time, age, place or situation; it is just inevitable.  You get scared and you always want to wrestle the feeling.  You expect things, though you are not supposed to because you know it will hurt in the end if things go wrong.  Some get scared of going back to zero and start all over again.  Some quit, before they ever began.  Some just give up.  You love, you get hurt, you learn; and if you are fortunate enough, you will love again.

Love makes you giddy, makes you glow, makes you feel like a kid again, and makes you look into the brighter side of things.  It is an overwhelming feeling.  It is just so hard to go back to where you have left off if everything else fails.  But love, though it makes you cringe, will always be worth the fight.

_Anj ♥

Let go. Let God.

My heart was in shambles, I must say, when this year kicked off.  Think: finding out that the guy you like (and someone you thought you might have a chance with) is gay; dealing with all the stress that your work brings; finding a new home; and admitting to yourself that there will always be this guy who you want to be with (and maybe spend the rest of your life with), but may not feel the same about you.  The events were a lot to take in, somehow making it possible to create riot with my inner self.  But fortunately, it did not.  Prayers did help a lot.  Making yourself busy and joking around with friends also allowed me to get past what I really feel inside.  There were times when I just want to scream, cry, go somewhere far.  I felt the need to be alone, hoping this would clear my mind and return to thinking clear and making sound decisions.

I think, sometimes, I overanalyze things.  Assumptions and expectations hit me, hurting me in the process.  I used to pray for what I want.  And then it brought me to the realization that maybe I am being selfish.  Maybe the one thing I have been asking for is not meant for me.  Soon enough, God, as great as He always is, gave me the answer.  One Sunday, when I celebrated mass, I felt that He was talking to me.  The priest said that when you pray, you must ask that His Will be done.  And for this you will know that what is given to you is what you truly deserve.  I am very thankful for that reminder.  Now I can say that my heart is finding its much needed peace.  I am determined to let go of the past and face the life that I am meant to live.

I am actually writing this to let out the excess baggage.  And hopefully, someone out there would learn something from this – that in every battle, God has His purpose of allowing it.  So let His Will guide you, let His Will be done.

_Anj <3

Crazy about Bohol!

Bohol, Philippines – the first time I came to this place for a vacation, I immediately fell in love.  I then told myself that I will be going back here.  I witnessed an extraordinary beauty the first time I set foot in this place.  Its beaches would definitely leave a mark in your memory.  The people are nice and friendly.  The food, although nothing really extraordinary and not very far from the “lutong bahay” that we used to have in Manila, is A-Ok.  The scenery is awe-inspiring (think: Chocolate Hills, Man-made forest, the Churches, the falls, etc.).  Such place has so many natural resources that we Filipinos could be proud of.  I, for one, became even prouder to be a Filipino and felt fortunate enough to experience the culture of Bohol.

The second time I visited Bohol was just last March 2014.  Despite the earthquake and the typhoon that hit late last year, the beauty of this place is still apparent.  There were quite a handful of tourists who, like us, still wanted to see just how exquisite Bohol is.  And I must say that it did not disappoint us.  I was proud that I was able to bring my friends here.  Not only did we enjoy the place, but great moments were also shared.

Panglao will always be one of my favorite places in Bohol.  The serenity of the beaches never failed to let me realize how amazing life is.  The view has the power to make you forget your worries, leaving you with no choice, but to enjoy what this place has to offer.  Just thinking about it, makes my heart flutter and makes me want to go back there in an instant.  Everything there is worth experiencing for.  So if you have not been to Bohol yet, then what the heck are you waiting for?! :D

_Anj <3

Easier that way...

Sometimes, when you are sad, you just want to shut the world to any one who comes your way.  You do not want others to ask why.  If sadness is felt, it really is difficult to explain why it happened.  It just takes you without a care in the world.  I now understand those who mask their true feelings with laughter or even just a meek smile.  I guess it is easier that way.  People will be assured that you are okay, even if deep inside you are actually not.  With just one smile, you do not have to elaborate more and that is what the people around you want.  They have no idea that your smile did not reach your eyes – not a genuine smile, not at all.  But it is easier that way.

Whenever I see an unhappy person that I know, I try my best to cheer him/her up.  He/she may not open up with me, but that is okay, it is his/her right to keep mum about it.  By making him/her happy even just for a few seconds is my way of spreading happiness, hoping that it becomes contagious and will eventually put a smile on his/her face.  I am not asking for a genuine smile right away for I know that every thing actually takes time.  I have done my part in giving out positivity to that person and it is now up to him/her to fabricate such into his/her system.

Sadness is not long-term.  There are times when you have to feel it to appreciate happiness – for us to see and realize the things, the people, and the events that made us happy.  It pains to see someone forlorn, let alone experience it first hand.  But that is how great life can get – we are given chances and choices.  Take every chance you get and always choose where your heart wants to be.  It is easier that way. ;)

_Anj <3

Two decades + 8 years

Before I could write something about being 28, I needed to read my blog when I turned 27 to keep me on track.  It has really been a year and our great Lord has added another year for me to enjoy and live the most out of.  I had a good April 20 this year (2014).  It was chill, I had fun – fun like a 28-year old adult would like to have.  It was a day that I have come to accept things that may not come my way.  It was a good day, though.  I felt loved and special.

There are things that I want to do and want to have.  I want to travel alone (yes, just me); get back in the game and go on dates; eat a lot (like I always do :D); exercise to accommodate all the food; talk to a stranger; save money and buy my own house; start my own business; fall in love. :)  I know I am not getting any younger, some would say that I need to settle down already.  But heck, I may be ready; it’s just so unfortunate that the situation may not be ready for me yet.

Right now, I just want to take a break from all the stress, all the heartache, all the drama.  What I need is a nice view, feel-good music, a refreshing drink, and a good book – happiness!

_Anj

:D <3

Sagada, Mt. Province

Sagada, Mt. Province --- I never really thought that this place is going to be one of the places that I would want to visit again.  If not only for the long ride, I would love to go back there as much as possible.  Our visit there gave us a taste of everything – good food, nice people, very cool weather, and a whole lot of adventure.

The adventures that we have experienced were extreme, life-threatening (I must say), tiring (for lack of a better word, but this is an understatement); but believe it or not, every thing was worth it.  Personally, it gave me a whole lot sense of fulfillment that I will be proud of and something that I could share with my family, friends, and even my future children.

We had spelunking, which was an extraordinary experience.  A cave tour was given a new meaning for me because of what I have encountered in Sagada.  It was fun though, as bizarre as it would sound.  We also had trekking.  It was such a long way to the falls; we were pushed to our limits.  It was the most exhausting path that we had to go through to reach our destination.  Some of the people living there whom we came across with told us that the long trip will be worth it and that we had to really try the water (to try is to swim) for it will recuperate us.  That got me excited and hesitant at the same time - hesitant because I know that the water would be way too cold for our liking.  We were able to make it to our destination for less than an hour.  We were faced with a breathtaking view.  As soon as the waterfalls came into my vision, I wanted to dip into the water right away.  If only the cool weather would make a rain check.  But then, the you-only-live-once vibe got into me and braved myself to dip into the very cold water.  It was literally nerve-wracking.  I had goosebumps and shaky lips and body.  Once I got out of the water, I was shaking more and immediately changed.  The way back to our van was a lot worse.  I had to admit, though, that the dip into the water made me feel energized and got me immune to the cool wind.  It was an amazing feeling.

Sagada, Mountain Province allowed me to live through many firsts.  This trip will definitely be one of my favorites – it was, without a doubt, extraordinarily fun.

_Anj

:D <3

Hearts all over the world tonight :)

02.14.2014 may just be an ordinary day for me and for the entire single ladies and gentlemen all over the world as well.  I used to be bitter as soon as this day approaches because either I will have my friends as my date on the 14^th or I would just stay at home and be unproductive all day long.  I never really felt special on this day.  Though, there are events that made my heart leap, but nothing as special as having someone to spend the day with.  For years, I had to deal with seeing the guys rushing to get to their girls with a bouquet of flowers on one hand and chocolates on the other hand.  I did have an envious look during those times, but it made me feel good, believe it or not.  I felt sincerely happy for them – very fortunate that they have found someone to fall in love with for 365 days and more.  And that had me wishing, hoping, and praying that someday, my prince will come and sweep me off my feet on that certain 14^th of February.

I know there are a lot of ways to celebrate this day, not that we are required to celebrate it.  I remember in grade school, I used to surprise my parents with cards that I personally designed.  It usually contained a greeting as cute as “Happy Valentimes day!  I love you!” not really caring if I misspelled it or not, or so I thought that it was really Valentimes instead of Valentine’s.  Oh how nice those childhood memories are.  I guess I have been a hopeless romantic ever since.  This day is for everyone, I reckon – young, old, single, committed.  No matter where you are, in love or not, this day is something that each one of us should celebrate; not because it is Valentine’s day, but because each day of our lives is something to celebrate as it is.  As ordinary or special this day is, what matters in the end is that we let love surround us and let it linger forever.

Happy Valentine’s Day! :)

_Anj

:D <3

XOXO A...

To the guy who inspired me since my teenage years, thank you.  You may not know that you have made me smile and made me feel good about life, but you did.  I can say that high school will never be the same if you had not come to our school as a newcomer where I wished that we were in the same class.  Well close enough when it was your sister instead.  I may have cried when I first saw you holding the hand of the girl you liked.  I have accepted then that you are not going to like the nerdy girl next door, although I never lost hope that someday you might get to notice me.  Years have passed; we were out of the same school, both living each other’s lives.  You have had a fair number of relationships, while I remained single all these years.  I have once forgotten about you and thought I have moved on.  But thanks to a friend who made me realize that a crush is not really someone that you are supposed to move on with.  A crush will always be a crush.  Yes, a crush – sounds so adolescent, isn’t it?  I have not seen you in years, except in pictures posted in your Facebook account.  You have become quite a man now.  And then I find myself liking you again.  When will I ever learn?  I learned the art of not feeling hurt every time you are in a relationship.  I guess the only art that I have not mastered in this given situation is the art of letting go.  My mind says to let go of the infatuation that I feel towards you, but my heart is telling otherwise.  I think all these sound preposterous.  I know that I will never have that chance with you.  Unrequited is my term – I basically lived with this word attached to my system.  It is quite disappointing though - having to like or love someone who can never like or love you back, even notice you.  I am not sure now if I should continue feeling this way.  Though I still find myself secretly wishing that somehow, in the nearest future, it would be your turn to draw hearts around my name.

#A #JesusSaves

_Anj

:D <3

for the love of Dance

Dancing is my way of expressing myself, bringing out my artistic side.  It has helped me deal with stress and made me feel more comfortable with myself.  I am not innately confident with how I look, but whenever I dance, even when I am alone or with an audience, I always feel beautiful.  I blame it on the energy, the adrenaline rush that keeps you going like you are in some sort of a trance.  Even if I am just in one place as long as I can hear an upbeat music, I will imagine myself dancing to that tune and just feel happy – plain and simple.  I may love singing, but dancing will always be my first love.  I used to hate the art, feeling awkward with how I move.  But as you let it occur to you, you really would not care of how you look when you move, you just let yourself loose.

Every time I sing my heart out, I would vision myself dancing as well.  It is always like I-was-born-to-dance kind of vibe.  The movements you make help you forget every worry, stress, disappointments and negative energy.  It is only when I dance that I am able to let go of everything and just go with the flow.

I believe we are all artistic in our own ways.  I think that dancing is an art.  I am bad in drawing stuff; do not know how to play any musical instruments; and other artsy stuff.  But at least I know how to dance and I certainly love it.

_Anj

:D <3

Happy 2014!

My first heartache for the year 2014 is something that I may not forget for quite some time.  While it is true that not all things you want will be given to you, I fathom the fact that in God’s perfect timing, everything will be done according to His Will.  Yes for now it would hurt and would bother you, but trust that this happened for a reason; and soon, before you even know it, you will be smiling like you have never smiled before.

Basically, I am writing this to constantly remind myself that life is good; God is good.  Maybe you could get something out of my words too.  Maybe this is what you need to finally move forward, to prepare yourself for the adventures that were laid for you to experience.  Maybe you were already sulking too much over the past year/s that it is now time to give yourself a favor and love yourself after hiding away from so much pain.

This is the New Year – another chance to become better, another opportunity to grow, another occasion to be merry and free.  So for those who are in pain, be it physically or emotionally; for those who are content with loneliness; for those who are thinking that they are in deep trouble; I am sending you my prayers.  I am sharing to you the positive vibe that I am feeling at this moment.  I am one with you in facing the challenges and consequently celebrating this year’s faith, happiness, and success.

Let us live with the greeting “Happy New Year” by being truly happy for 2014.

#Live #love #laugh

_Anj

:D <3